


Another French Mistake

by mikuridaigo



Category: Actor RPF, Avengers (Comic), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikuridaigo/pseuds/mikuridaigo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before a bloody battle with Loki ends Enchantress sends the Avengers to a parallel universe where they are only actors, and superheroes and magic does not exist. Inspired by the Supernatural episode ‘The French Mistake’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work can be found on my tumblr and fanfiction account.   
> 'Another French Mistake' also contains movie/TV references such as Sherlock (movies and TV) and War Horse. However with some mistakes to point out, War Horse and Sherlock Holmes 2002/2011 were filmed in England (Sherlock both in US and England) but I made the error that both were filmed in Hollywood. I did not realize this until it was published on ff.net and tumblr so please pretend that it was filmed in Hollywood. Avengers 2012 was filmed in the East Coast and not in Hollywood. Once again another mistake so let's pretend everything was filmed in Hollywood (except BBC!Sherlock).

"Tony! Watch out!" Wasp cried as Iron Man was hit in the back with a giant axe. He fell to the ground hard, leaving a giant crater on the pavement. The billionaire grunted and shook his head, not being able to recover as Enchantress's henchman jumped into the air and slammed all his weight down on the armor. Its weight did not last long, however, when Hulk head butted the mythical creature to save his other teammate.

"Thanks Hulk." Tony said, finally able to stand up. Hulk nodded and continued the fight.

Across Tony, Hawkeye drew his last bow and aimed it at another Asgardian creature about to attack Widow. "How the hell did this begin?"

Natasha jumped in the air to avoid a bolt of magic from Enchantress but fell on her back when she missed her landing. She thought about how this fight did start. At eight A.M most of the Avengers at the mansion were awake, eating breakfast or working out in the training room, like what she and Hawkeye were doing. Tony was down in his lab working on his suit while Dr. Pym and Dr. Banner were conducting a new experiment. Suddenly an explosion blasted through their headquarters and all were in action, the original avengers fighting Loki while Spiderman and Wolverine fought on the other side of town. It has been four hours since the attack without an end.

Her eyes widened as the Norse God of Mischief hovered above her, smirking as he held his hands out. She braced for what was to come when Thor hit his brother with his hammer and Clint took her into his arms. "You okay?"

"Perfect." She groaned.

Thor retrieved his hammer and held it to the sky to call upon the lightening. He commanded it to strike on Loki, missing completely when Enchantress used her magic to restrain him and thrown him into the middle of the street. Skurg the Executioner gathered the rest of the Avengers and thrown them around the Norse God and created a barrier to prevent any of them from escaping.

Loki laughed as he grabbed his brother by the throat. "Finally, I can end you."

Thor tried to escape by gripping his hands. With the strength she had left Wasp broke out of the barrier and dragged Ant-man and Panther out. Panther attempted to stop Loki but was pulled back by the Executioner. "Amora! You have to stop him!" Wasp yelled.

Amora bit her lip in hesitation. She agreed to help Loki capture his brother and bring him back to Asgard as well as killing Jane Foster. However her love for the Thunder God prevented her many times from giving him to Loki, and once again it was one of those moments. "Don't you dare try to stop me you witch!" Loki growled as his grip on Thor became tighter.

"You're going to kill him! Odin said to just return him to Asgard!" She retorted.

"Father doesn't want him back! He's banished from our home!"

"But Odin-

"Isn't here to take him back." As Thor slowly choked at his brother's hands the rest of the Avengers were helpless against Norse Magic. Amora could see in her love's eyes desperation and helplessness. She is the only one who can save them- and she will do it because she loves him.

Closing her eyes she placed one hand on Loki and pulled him away and used her other hand to fabricate a spell on Thor and the other Avengers. A cloud of smoke covered the entire block. Loki cleared the smoke and looked around. His brother and the other Avengers were gone, except Wasp, Panther and Ant-man who stood confused to where their teammates went. Angry, he grasped her neck and slammed her against the wall. "You fool! Where have you hidden him now?"

Steve coughed and took off his mask to cover his nose. "Is everyone alright?"

"Cut! That's a wrap! Clear the smoke and clean this up will ya?" A giant fan blew the smoke away to reveal their location. They were in an in closed area where lights and cameras hung about. A man in a director's chair lowered himself down and left the set.

Workers in their uniforms ran to the set and began to clean the fake rubble. A scrawny kid in a hat walked up to Thor. "I'll take that Mr. Hemsworth." He said gripping onto his hammer.

"Wait, only I can carry my-

His eyes widened as the kid ripped it out of his hands and carried it like it was a piece of paper. He turned to Tony for the answers but then stepped back when he realized Tony was not in his armor. In fact he wore a one-piece suit with wires and dots connecting to each other. Tony looked shocked as well, wondering where his armor went.

Loki jumped from the fake car and removed his helmet. "Great scene guys! And I like the improve you did there Chris." He complemented, patting Steve in the back. The man out of his time flinched and stepped back, going unnoticed to the other God. "Anyway it looks like we're done here, who wants to go to lunch, I'm buying?"

Tony and Steve blinked before the billionaire exploded. "Lunch? You just tried to kill us and you want to go to lunch?"

Loki laughed. "That's what we've been doing for the past month. I need to change first; I'll meet you guys by Robert's trailer." He said as he walked away. 'Robert' he referred to was Tony who tilted his head in confusion.

"Um-"

"Hey, not to be pushy but can you guys get off the set? We need to clean this for the next event." A crew worker asked.

Without thinking the Avengers left and followed Cap to the trailers. "Okay, what the hell is going on?" Widow asked.

"We're we just fighting Loki? Why is he offering us lunch?" Banner asked but then covered his mouth. His teammates looked at him with wide eyes. Hulk was just there but now he was back to Bruce Banner. The scientist stared at his hands in confusion and looked at the others. "I don't know where Hulk is."

Tony scoffed. "Great, Hulk is gone, Thor's hammer is in the hands of a stick and I'm in this weird wired jump suit! What did Enchantress do to us?"

"I am not sure, but I do know, that was not my brother."

"What?" Hawkeye exclaimed. "But he looks and sounds just like him!"

Thor shook his head. "Yes, but he is not possessing our magic-he is human. And so am I."

Widow threw her hands in the hair. "Well this is great. Magic brought us here but now we don't have it to send us back. What do we do now?"

"We can go to lunch with not-Loki." Clint suggested. Bruce raised his eyebrow and Tony crossed his arms. "What? We haven't eaten lunch since real Loki and his gang attacked us. I'm starved and he's paying."

Steve shook his head. "As much as I don't trust this world that Enchantress sent us we might as well gather as much information as we can to figure out where we are." Everyone else nodded. "So… where do we change?"

Widow tapped his shoulder and pointed to the trailer Tony was leading on that read 'Robert Downey Jr.'. Tony shrugged and entered the trailer and whistled. "I'm guessing this is mine." The other Avengers followed in and Clint scoffed at the giant picture of Tony's other self. The inside felt much larger than the outside, especially the giant closet with many suits and dress pants. Tony chose a gray suit with a blue tie. "At least this guy has a sense of fashion."

"Oh, let me wear one." Bruce said going through the closet and Clint followed after. Thor took a suit but threw it aside realizing that it won't fit him.

Natasha found 'Robert's' laptop and extra script and read the character names. RDJ was the listed first so she looked him up first. Most of the information was just about his movies starting in the 1990s and his recent hits such as Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man. Next was the man named Chris Evans who is the actor for Cap. He seemed to be an active actor as well with his latest movies being Captain America and What's Your Number- a romantic comedy. Curious she typed in the movie and the trailer came up, a typical romantic comedy with a predictable ending.

Steve was pacing in a circle when he noticed the man on the laptop sounding just like him, and Natasha was smiling widely. He peeked over her shoulder and a blush spread across his face when the man who looked exactly like him, stripped his pants in the middle of the empty basketball court. "W-what is this?"

"It's you Captain." She laughed playfully punching him on the arm. "Well your other self anyway but still, you seem to be nude a lot in his film." Another scene she clicked on involved his character walking out of his apartment fully naked, except for a pillow covering his area, and other where he's in the bathtub taking pictures of himself.

By this time the other Avengers were looking at the screen, Clint bursting out laughing, Bruce snickering, Thor turning his head in confusion and Tony biting his knuckles to keep himself from saying something that will get him punched. "I think we have enough of that." Steve said closing the laptop. "And although those suits look nice Thor and I won't fit in them. What are our names so we can go to our trailers?"

Natasha looked at the script again. "Cap, you're Chris Evans, Thor, your name is Christ Hemsworth and I'm Scarlet Johansson. Our trailers should be close by."

Steve nodded and opened the door where the other Loki stood as if about to knock. "There you guys are. Oh, you haven't changed out of costume yet. That's fine, we'll wait, and our reservations aren't until 12:30 anyway."

The soldier blinked. "Um…"

He felt Widow push behind him with one hand as she used the other to pull Thor out. "Thanks, we'll be quick." The three left to find their trailers while Loki stayed at the doorway.

"You don't mind if Benedict joins along do you?"

Tony quickly glances at the script in confusion that the name Benedict wasn't on the list. "Sure, why not. Step inside and sit down."

Loki smiled and did so. "So Renner, how's Mission Impossible going?"

No one replied but Clint shifted uncomfortably as Loki stared at him. Tony once again looked at the script and nudged him signaling that 'Renner' is him. "Oh, uh, well it's okay I… think?"

Loki chuckled. "Funny but the critics and your fans seem pretty excited for it." Clint nodded but still very confused.

Bruce shifted around and cleared his throat. "So just to make things clear, you're not Loki." Tony and Clint shot him a 'the hell is wrong with you' look and Bruce shrugged, unsure of what he should have asked. So called Loki blinked but then burst into laughter.

"O-oh god that's gold! Good one Mark I'm definitely tweeting his." He took out his cell phone and typed at the tiny keyboard.

Clint raised his eyebrow. "Does that answer your question Doctor?"

Natasha Thor and Steve came back as she knocked on the trailer wall. "We're ready." Ready as they could be. Natasha looked normal in a casual blouse and dress pants. Thor wore a very tight white t-shirt and skinny jeans with his hair long and messy. Steve found a pair of overalls and a plaid red shirt looking like he did during the 1940s.

"Awesome, let's go! The limo is outside the set." Thor perked at the word 'limo' only seeing one since Tony rode in one almost every day.

By the time they got to the limo a man dirty blonde man with a blue scarf was leaning against the door, texting on his phone. Loki called out his name and he immediately responded with a wave and a hug. "Sorry for barging in on the Avenger's lunch hour." He said. Natasha smiled at his British accent while Clint rolled his eyes.

"No need to apologize Benedict. I hope you guys like sushi." 

"I love sushi." Tony said already stepping into the limo. Thor whispered to Bruce asking what 'sushi' was but Bruce just said he'll like it when he tries it.

By the time they reached the restaurant a mob of fans and paparazzi gathered around the car. Tony was use to feeling like a celebrity- known for Stark Industries and then coming out as Iron Man. Tom (they learned his name when Benedict was talking to him) and Benedict seemed unfazed by the crowd of stares and camera flashes as well. As for the rest of the team, well different reactions came from them. Timid Bruce Banner shed away from the cameras by hiding his face in Clint's shoulder. Clint on the other hand took it very well and smiled for the people, receiving gasps and semi-orgasmic noise from the girls. Thor shielded the flashes with his hands although flattered that Midgardians want a picture of the God of Thunder. Natasha put on a fake smile to please the crowd, even though she wanted to punch every single person with a camera. Steve smiled shyly and waved a couple of times but tried to keep up with Tony. "Are we really that popular?" He asks the Man of Iron.

Tony waved a group of girls. "Guess so, but who cares? Loki is paying for sushi."

Once in the restaurant the host immediately led them to a private room in the back, away from those dining in the common dining rooms. Seated with water and sake everyone gave their orders and the waiters scrambled to get it done.

Thor took a gulp of the sake and slammed it down on the table. "It is small but powerful just like Asgardian drinks! I require more!" Tom laughed and poured him another shot.

"You really do stay in character." Benedict pointed out.

Tony glanced at his teammates around the table. Thor continued to enjoy the sake and talked more about the foods of Asgard. Clint took a shot as well but seemed unfazed as he tried to get Banner to drink some too. The scientist shook his head and drank the tea already in place and offered Natasha some. She gladly drank it but looked over to Tony, unsure what to speak of. Steve sat very close to Tony as he fiddled with the napkin in his lap. Clearing his throat Tony decided to speak up. "So, um, Benedict, what's your part in the movie-uh- Avengers?"

Benedict and Tom exchanged looks before bursting out into laughter. "You were right Tom; it's like one big family! You guys are so kind making me feels like part of the team. But remember, I'm here to do our scene in War Horse, isn't that right Captain Nicholls?" He asked raising his glass.

Tom raised his as well and clanked it with Benedict's. "Of course Major Stewart." Tony shrugged and took a sip of the sake. "But I heard that you got a part in Star Trek 2."

Benedict smiled. "I was surprised myself but it hasn't gone to the press just yet. But enough about me, I'm more curious with Jeremy's MI and Bourne. Since Hurt Locker you've been very busy with such great films."

Once again he was staring at Clint, yet Clint absent-minded, was spacing out and staring at Bruce's hands on his lap. Natasha elbowed him and he snapped out of his trance. "Huh? Me? Well… I-um it's…" He didn't want a repeat of earlier with an unsure response. "It's great! The cast is great and- well it's not like a huge family like this but still- it's awesome." He heard Bruce mutter 'smooth' and Clint kicked him.

Benedict and Tom smiled at his response and then cheers came from Natasha and Thor as the food was brought in. Hungry, Tony Clint and Natasha dug into the different sushis and beef. Bruce politely waited for everyone to choose what they wanted while Thor celebrated his new favorite meal. Steve avoided the raw fish as much as possible and just stuck with the beef and edimame. "Why not try it Chris? You did do beer pong live and yet you don't want to try sushi?" Tom asked.

"Beer…pong?"

Clint almost choked on his food and looked at the blonde soldier. "Really now, beer pong?"

Tom took out his phone and searched the video. "Yup, right here." Everyone leaned forward to watch as Steve-or Chris- threw a ping pong ball across a table with rows of red cups. He missed, the audience laughed and he drank one of his own beers, making a comment on how easily drunk he can get. Once again everyone, besides Cap and Thor, tried to silence their laughter by biting their lips or stuffing their face with more food.

Steve's eye twitched. First he goes off prancing around in his full birthday suit and now gets drunk in front of a live audience. What kind of world is this?

Halfway through lunch Tom and Benedict continued to make conversation while everyone else listened and absorbed the information in order to play their character as actors instead of Superheroes. But without asking the two British men about their real lives it was hard to understand who their other selves were. Most of the time Tom was talking about how he misses England while Benedict gave him details about current events in their home country.

They were interrupted with a knock against the wall. Two men stood at the threshold of the private room, one man with short brown hair wearing a blue jacket. The one man was much shorter in height and had blonde hair while wearing a green parka with a fur hood. The blonde man was the one knocking. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Sherlock Holmes, but I don't remember him being blonde. Oh! There you are." He said walking to Tony.

The taller man chuckled. "I believe you are mistaken Doctor Watson, that is my Sherlock. Your Sherlock is the blonde sitting next to Tom."

'Watson' laughed. "No, no that cannot be my Sherlock, Doctor Watson. He has black curly hair and a scowl on his face. This man is looks too nice and blonde." Tom, the two men and Benedict burst into laughed as Benedict pulled up two chairs for them.

Clint blinked with a lost look in his eyes. "What the hell just happened?"

The blonde man eased his laughter. "I'm sorry I don't think I've introduced myself before. I'm Martin Freeman." He said holding out his hand. Clint-then Tony shook it before Martin sat down.

Benedict patted his back. "I thought you weren't flying in till tomorrow."

"Finished filming my scene for Sherlock early, though I might drop by to see the filming of War Horse."

Tom smiled. "Well that's very kind of you. Speaking of Sherlock, have you and Jude seen the final edits to Sherlock Holmes 2?" Tony noticed that the non-avengers were looking at him, but before he could answer Jude spoke.

"Actually that's why I came here. The train scene was accidentally deleted so I needed to pick up Robert so we can re-do it."

Benedict was surprised. "Deleted? How?"

"Eh, some new kid did it. I mean it should have been easy to recover but nope, erased all evidence of it. Rumor has it he wasn't comfortable with the part where I was on top of him ripping his dress off."

A blush immediately appeared on Tony's face. He-Robert was wearing a dress?

Martin shook his head. "That's awful. Isn't the movie supposed to be releasing soon?"

Jude nodded. "December actually. I don't think it will affect the release date too much but we have to hurry then if we want to get it done."

Tom wiped his mouth with his napkin. "That's fine, we're basically done here." He signaled the waiter and gave him his credit card. Once everything was paid for they stood up ready to leave when two girls came to them with cameras.

One of them fiddled with her hair. "Um, excuse us… but can we please get a picture with the two Sherlocks and Watsons? It's such a surprise to see you four together." Jude looked at Benedict and Martin who smiled and agreed. Tony had to be pulled into the picture, still not comprehending that he plays as Sherlock Holmes, and he's wearing a dress. Benedict and Martin stood next to each other while Jude had his arm around Tony's shoulder, a gesture that made Steve cringe.

"Thank you!" They ran off back to their table.

"I already called a separate cab for us Robert. The set is a couple of miles from your trailer."

Tony nodded. "Oh, great… just hold on." He turned back to his team and whispered hastily.

"What the hell do I do?"

Natasha shrugged. "Act-you do it all the time during press conferences."

"Haha but it's not the same!"

"If you want I can accompany you." Steve offered as he eyed Jude.

Tony patted his back. "Thank you Cap." He asked Jude if he could tag along and the man said yes. The three went into the car and drove off.

"Well we don't want to waste time filming our death." Tom said heading inside the limo. Benedict and Martin followed after and closed the door.

Natasha tapped the window. "Wait, what about us?"

Tom rolled the window down. "What about you? You four are finished for today. Oh, where are my manners? Do you need a ride back?"

Natasha looked at the men who were going through their pockets to find a cell phone to call a cab of their own. Bruce pulled out his wallet and showed her a card for a limo service. She smiled and turned back to Tom. "No, it's fine. Thank you though and good luck with the film."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony becomes Sherlock Holmes, Steve wants to punch Jude and Thor watches his 'brother' die a hundred times on a horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the world premier of the Avengers here in LA (to which I cannot go to and so I will sob and cry) here's the next installment of Another French Mistake. And as stated in the previous chapter while War Horse was filmed in England I made the mistake of assuming it was here in Hollywood so let's pretend that it was for the sake of the story.  
> Enjoy.

After Tom left the Natasha went back to the restaurant to call the limo service. The three men were stuck outside still being photo bombed by fans. Many of the girls were going for Clint, screaming the name 'Jeremy' and words like 'you sexy beast.' To please them Clint began posing and showed off his biceps by folding his sleeves up. Bruce rolled his eyes while Thor laughed in amusement. When she was done Natasha walked back out and grunted at Clint's service to the crowd as she pulled them back in the restaurant to wait for their ride.

By one thirty they arrived back on set, hiding out in Scarlet Johansson's trailer. Here Natasha decided to do more research on who they were in this earth and if there were any chances of return home without magic. Bruce and Clint sat on her sofa and mindlessly watched T.V., surprised to see that some channels were the same along with certain talk show hosts such as Oprah and Entertainment Tonight.

Thor paced around the small area still very perplexed that he is now human. Even muttering old Asgardian spells had no effect in this earth. Clint commented for Thor to sit down but he rejected.

"In celebrity news it looks like sexy candy man Jeremy Renner has raised to the top yet again."

Clint turned his attention back to the television as a picture of him, or Jeremy for that matter, went up. "Renner has been acting since early 2000 most known for his role as Dahmer and now for Sergeant First Class James. Now he's been gaining more action roles than ever before. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol is his next film, along with Tom Cruise, and will be released this December. After a cameo appearance on Thor it is also confirmed he will be acting alongside Robert Downy Junior and Scarlet Johansson in the Avengers. Finally his manager says he is now in the star role of The Bourne Legacy though no clips have been released. Will Renner be doing more? Modeling or singing perhaps?"

Natasha scoffed and continued her research. "Oh look at this; in 2011 I was number 12 in top 100 sexiest women alive. Tch, what animals."

Clint laughed. "Angry because you're not number one."

"Angry because they treat me like a sex symbol rather than a human being." She tapped the back button to look up the man who is Bruce Banner.

There was a knock at her trailer and Clint answered it. A man in a gray hat and an earpiece held a laptop was at the doorstep. "I'm sorry Mr. Renner, but is Mr. Hemsworth in there? I was told that he went into Ms. Johansson's trailer." Clint looked at Natasha for the answer and she pointed to Thor who looked just as confused, but Clint let the man in anyway. "You have a video call from your wife."

"My wife?" Thor exclaimed.

"Yes, let me just plug this in…" The man out the charger into the outlet and left the room. There was a dark blonde woman on the screen, smiling brightly at Thor.

Thor froze in panic and ran to Natasha's side for some answers while Bruce tried to keep her busy. She seemed to know him to and asked how it was on set. Bruce turned the conversation to her and became immediately interested when he learned that she's the daughter of a Spanish Biochemist and that she studied a bit of her father's work.

"Just say hi to her Thor!"

"But I know nothing of her; I have never been in a relationship with any woman."

"You and Jane haven't gone out?" Clint asked.

"No, not formally."

Natasha pushed him to the computer. "Just try to act as human as possible."

Thor bumped into Bruce who then moved so Thor can talk to his other self's wife. "There you are dear." She giggled.

The God of Thunder swallowed nervously and looked at Clint who for some reason kept mouthing the word 'honey'. It finally hit him and he smiled at the computer screen. "Hello, honey." He said awkwardly.

She giggled again. "So how is your role as Thor again?"

"It's, it's excellent! I have made many friends here."

"That's great-oh." She cringed and looked as if she was holding her stomach.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly worried.

"Yes, the baby is kicking again."

Thor's eyes widened. "Baby?"

"Oh don't kid like that. The baby has been more active lately, take a look." She stood up to show her large belly as she rubbed it. Thor slowly reached over to the screen thinking that he can feel her stomach and became disappointed when he couldn't. "I hope you can come back before it's born."

"I-I hope so too."

"Okay, well my sister is coming by; I need to fix up the house a bit. I love you."

Thor hesitated for a moment, swallowing anything else that he had to say. "I love you too." She smiled and suddenly signed off and he leaned back in his seat.

"Wow Thor! Looks like your guy Mark is going to be a daddy." Clint exclaimed, patting his back.

"Actually I'm Mark, he's Chris." Bruce corrected.

"I thought Cap was Chris."

"There are two Chris's." Natasha said.

"Well whatever, point is you're going to be a father! And she looks pretty good. Thor, you okay there?"

The God stared at the blank screen. "I will father a child?"

"Well technically Chris is but if we're stuck here, yeah!"

He didn't speak for ten minutes and Bruce concluded that he was in shock. Like Thor said before he has not been in any relationship and suddenly hit with the news that he will be a dad would shock him. They gave him time to soak it in when Thor suddenly jumped up in the air and hugged Bruce. "Oh glorious! I will be a father to her child! Where is she so I can go there and hug her too?"

Natasha shook her head. "She's in Chris's home near Australia! And you can't leave; we have to stay on the set."

Thor finally released Bruce who struggled for air. "What a shame, well when we are finished I will go to her and take care of her and my child. It is the right thing to do."

Clint scoffed. "What a gentleman. Find anything else about us Tasha?"

"No, just the basic acting careers and brief personal life. Nothing that can help us go back."

"Well this sucks! But if we're still here who wants to watch Loki die on a horse?"

"That is very offensive archer. I do not wish to see my brother die, even if it is fake."

Bruce shrugged. "I don't want to stay in this small trailer any longer, let's go. While Tony is busy we might need someone to help us around here."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Tony tapped his hands nervously at the makeup table as the make-up artist put on the final touches to his costume for the scene. She smiled and left while Tony stayed in a panic. Steve tried his best not to say anything or laugh out loud at his ridiculous costume. "Steve! I don't know what to do!"

"But you read the script and memorized it already, how can you not know what to do?"

"I can say all the lines but I can't act it out! What if I mess up?"

Steve shrugged. "Actors mess up all the time, they just redo everything."

"If that happens we'll be here for another three months!"

The soldier placed his hands on Tony's shoulders to calm him down. "Tony, you will be fine, you can do it." Tony took a deep breath and finally smiled. He thanked Steve and was called on set, so he walked to the fake train with Steve giving him a thumbs-up.

"So you know how this goes right?" The director asked.

"Um, can we I just have another recap? I don't want to accidentally- fly like Iron Man or something." Jude laughed and patted his back.

"I'll help him." The director nodded and left to tell the fake soldiers what to do.

Jude brought him inside the train set and pointed where his character, Sherlock, is supposed to run through. "Then we run into each other, I'll have my gun under your chin and you say:

"I agree it's not my best disguise."

"Good, and then you go into our room, talk with Mary and throw her off the train. Afterwards I will close the door, we say our lines and I throw you onto the bed and try to strangle you. The soldier will interrupt, explode from their guns and it ends." Tony sighed and nodded. Jude patted his shoulders. "You'll be fine. Just remember your leg has to be hooked over my shoulder when we fight."

"Got it…" Tony replied nervously.

"Okay quiet on set! Robert in a drag scene take one-again!"

Steve sat by the camera man with his arms crossed. They begin with Jude pushing the assassin off the train and him shooting at the other soldiers. A minute later the other camera man focuses on the other side of the train when Tony runs up and Jude has a gun under his chin. "I agree it's not my best disguise." He says as Steve watches through the monitor.

Jude pulls him into their cabin and Tony goes to Mary while Jude continues to shoot at the soldiers. "Do you trust me?" He asks.

"No." Mary replies.

"Oh, then I'm going to have to change that." He pushes her out of the train where she falls into the mattress. The camera refocuses on the two men when Tony asks him to close the door. Jude looks back and asks for Mary; Tony raises his hands in defense and replies, "It had to be done."

"You killed my wife!" Jude yells pulling Tony down to the bed and trying to strangle him.

"I didn't kill her it was perfect timing!"

Jude didn't listen and suddenly ripped Tony's top off. Tony tried to kick him off but somehow had his leg over Jude's shoulder and Jude thrusted forward to keep hurting him. Suddenly the door opens with a British soldier holding a gun to their head. He pulls the trigger and they fly back. Jude closes the door yet again and the director yells cut. "Good job guys! Stay in your positions though, we might need to do the scene right after."

Tony stayed on the bed and looked over at Jude who started to laugh and Tony laughed too. "You look good like that as if you've been ravished."

"Yeah, by you Mr. Watson."

They laughed again and Steve cringed at them. He studied Tony's position: legs spread apart, woman's clothing party ripped and makeup smudged. Jude was right, he did looked 'ravished' and because Jude did it. Steve didn't know why but seeing another man do that to Tony made Steve want to punch the train. "Take a picture, it'll last longer Steve!" Tony yelled from his spot.

"I thought his name was Chris?" Jude asked.

"I'm still in two characters Watson." Tony laughed. Steve gave a fake smiled and nodded.

"Good job boys, let's do the second part and we'll be done. Downey, very good!"

Tony smiled at the praise and focused back into character. He had the next line and they continued to argue while climbing out of the train and into another cabin where an old couple stayed. "Leave." Tony says and they run out while Jude shuts the door. Tony suddenly lies on the floor with hands on his chest. "Lay with me Watson." Steve wished that those words weren't his lines.

"What?"

"Just lie down." Jude rolled his eyes and did so. Tony pulls out a cigar and smokes while handing Jude a gun. "Make it count."

Fake bullets penetrated through the wooden frames, Jude rolling to his side to cover himself and Tony. When the bullets stopped he sat up and shot and missed the shooter as he lay back down to avoid the bullets. They said more lines, the bullets stopped again and the scene now ended. The director yelled cut again and the set was being cleaned. Jude stood up first and helped Tony up, smirking at the smudged makeup on the American. He licked his thumb and wiped the lipstick across Tony's face. "You look like the Joker with that."

"The who?"

"Joker, from The Dark Knight. And I thought you would be more acquainted with superheroes outside of the Avengers."

"Right… must have just slipped my mind." He didn't notice that Jude still had this thumb on his cheek until the actress of Mary called them out.

"Would you two just kiss or something!" She laughed.

Jude laughed with her and walked away from Tony, who under the makeup was blushing. Steve on the other hand accidentally broke the snack table in the back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Quiet on set! And action!"

Thor, Natasha, Bruce and Clint had just arrived on the set of War Horse. On one side of the field the men on the horses began to run, in the middle were tents and at the end were the woods. There were several camera men scattered around but one particularly close to Loki- or Tom or whoever he was in this movie. The four were by the monitors watching every angle of the set as well as a recap of Benedict's line 'Be Brave!'

Martin tapped Thor's shoulder and smiled, pointing to Tom who was riding ahead. He held out his sword and he and the other men began to slash the tents and the men inside. The scene lasted for just a couple of seconds when another monitor focused in the forest where the machine guns were pulled out. The director told the camera man to do a close up on Tom's face, which he did. As soon as the machines were in sight Tom's face turned from determination to fear, his eyes widening and hope lost. The director yelled something and Tom fell off the horse onto a mat, unseen by the crew. On the screen the horse goes into the forest and appears without Tom on his back. Everyone else is shot and fallen and the scene ends with Benedict's character being captured and brought down.

The second Thor saw sadness in Loki's eyes he wanted to yell to his brother and save him but he felt Bruce and Clint hold him back. Natasha looked at him and he could tell she was trying to say that it wasn't real, because Tom stood up from the mattress and walked to the director. The man looked back on the scene and said to do a second take just so that they can record from a different angle. And so the process happened again, and again, and again. And Thor had to watch his brother die several times in those hours.

Finally the director was satisfied and was done for that day. Tom limped over to Benedict both smiling and laughing as they met up with the Avengers and Martin. Benedict leaves with Martin to his hotel room to rehearse their lines for SHERLOCK and Tom said goodbye to them. "Well now that's over with do you guys want to rehearse for Avengers?"

Bruce was shocked at how much energy he had left after falling off the horse several times. "Um, sure… where?"

"We'll do it at the hotel, much more room and comfy than the set or our trailers. Just let me shower, I smell like horse." He patted Thor on the shoulder and walked off.

Clint crossed his arms. "Wow, it's so weird to see Loki blonde and a nice guy."

Natasha shrugged. "Got to say though, he looks cute blonde. What did you think Thor? Thor?"

Thor's eyes were glued to the monitor, re-watching his brother die and die with the face of fear. Since his brother has betrayed him he wanted to see him behind bars in the hands of SHIELD. Yet he never wanted for him to die. No matter what he did to them that was still his brother and he loved him for that. Even if this man was not his brother he looked and sounded just like him and to see him die is like seeing Loki die. It was Thor's worst nightmare being played and edited for an audience to watch.

"Thor." Natasha said again. Finally he tore his eyes from the monitor to look at the spy.

"I am sorry, I was watching."

"Yeah we noticed." Bruce said. "Let's go find out scripts to practice with not-Loki."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Steve waited for Tony outside his dressing room, watching the crew clean up when his- or rather Chris's cell phone vibrated. It was a text message from Scarlet, or Widow, so he opened it. Meet us at the Hilton Hotel room 5 on floor 4, practicing for Avengers. He knocked on Tony's door to tell him to hurry. Another ten minutes later Tony finally opened the door, dressed like a man without make up. His beard was still shaved off but his hair was combed back and clean. They were about to leave when Jude caught up with them and he and Tony talked about their scene. "Where are you two headed?"

Steve stepped closer to Tony. "Hilton, we need to practice for Avengers."

"Right of course, I'll be leaving you two then."

The soldier mentally danced a small victory until Tony spoke. "Wait, come with us." In his head Steve yelled 'WHY?'

"Are you sure? I wouldn't like to intrude."

"It's cool, I mean you and I are friends and the Avengers are like family." Jude smiled and followed them into a taxi that led them to the hotel.

When they arrived they could hear the loud laughter in the room. Steve knocked and Clint answered the door, allowing them in. The room was huge with a kitchen and three beds. Tom sat with his legs crossed and Thor surprisingly close to him. On the other bed sat Natasha and Clint and then Bruce who sat in a chair. Across Bruce was Maria Hill who had her hair down and laughing, so Tony had to assume that was the actress. "And somehow I slipped in the shower and the only one there to find me was Benedict! Of course if that wasn't embarrassing enough I screamed like a little girl, soaking naked and wet and he runs in and laughs before actually picking me up."

Thor bursts into laughter, slapping his knee while Natasha giggles and Clint trying his best NOT to say something insulting. "There you guys are!" Bruce exclaimed. "We got bored waiting so Tom started to tell some funny stories on the set."

"Yes, quiet funny but we needed Robert and Chris for the next scene." Tom said. "Are you going to stay Cobbie?"

Not-Maria smiled and stood up. "Sorry but I'm needed on How I Met Your Mother, and Clark called saying that he'll be here tomorrow."

Tom nodded. "Right then, see you later." She waved to them and left the hotel, Tony and Steve still shocked to see her so happy and not a stick up her ass. "Say hi to Neil for me!"

"Will do!" She yelled from the halls before Jude closed the door.

"So which scene are you guys doing?" Jude asked sitting on not-Maria's chair.

Tom flipped through the script. "The scene where the Avengers are in the SHIELD lab together, with the tension between Cap and Iron Man." He passed the page to Tony who quickly read it.

"Okay, simple enough."

Steve's eyes widened as he thought 'Simple? How is this simple? I can't act!' Tony gave him the script so he could read through it, unnoticed to the soldier's slight panic. "So I start by poking Bruce in the ribs and say… I promise a stress free environment… no surprises." He takes a pen from the table and pokes Bruce who yelps in surprise. Everyone looks to Cap who is still reading the script so Jude poked him to say his lines.

"Oh! I-um… hey?"

"I think you need to be more forceful with that 'hey'." Clint says.

"Oh… Hey!" Clint gives him a thumbs-up.

Tony ignores Cap and continued to bug Bruce. "You really got it under control don't you? What's your secret? Relaxing Jazz? Bongo Drums?"

Silence and eyes were on Steve. "I-is everything a joke to you?"

"Only if it's funny." Tony says smiling, and for a second Steve thought that the billionaire was smiling at him, but his eyes were lower. Steve looked down at Jude who just smiled back at Tony. Clint whistled, Natasha smirked at Tony's new found friendship and Thor sat happily with his not-brother.

"Okay, well you guys need to finish all the scenes that take place in SHIELD by tomorrow, because on Thursday we're flying to New York for the action scenes."

Bruce looked shocked. "Wait, we're not in New York now?"

Tom raised an eyebrow and burst into laughter. "Ah good one, you guys are just so funny today! Of course not we're in Hollywood."

Tony slowly nodded. "Of course…"

For the rest of the night they rehearsed their lines, mostly talking and less movement (for Steve's sake- that man was a stick when saying his lines.) By the time they finished it was past midnight and everyone was drowsy. Jude had fallen asleep in his chair and Clint fell on the floor, uncomfortable with the chair. Tom stretched and yawned, leaning back to the headboard. "Well, I'm ready to turn in for the night, anyone else?"

Natasha rubbed her eyes. "Yup, I'm done. Who's going to ride back to their trailers?"

Tom shook his head. "No, I rented this room for the night. We can share beds."

"Sounds good to me." Clint mumbled from the floor. "I call Bruce and Tasha."

Natasha panicked for a moment when Clint didn't use their actor's names but Tom and Jude seemed too tired to notice. "Sure, Chris you want to…" He stopped talking when Thor was already asleep with his arms wrapped around Tom's waist. Tom shrugged and pulled the covers over them, asking Tony to turn off the lights when they decide where they'll sleep.

"Well, I'll take the couch then." Jude suddenly said walking to unfold it.

"No, no, take the bed, I'll do the couch." Tony insisted.

Jude shook his head. "No way, you had more physical action than I did today so you and Chris get the bed."

Steve was just fine with that answer and was already crawling into the third bed. Normally he would be the nice soldier and take the couch, but he did not want Jude and Tony to be sleeping together, nor did he want to sleep with Jude so he only hoped the British man would give up and take the couch, floor or just leave.

"Really I insist, take the bed I don't mind the couch." Jude said again.

"Nope, not taking that, go to bed now."

Jude laughed. "Hell no, please I'll be fine."

"But you're our guest."

"And this is the Avenger's room."

"Would you two just join Chris on the bed?" Clint yelled, rolling over so that his back was facing Tony and Jude. The two men looked at each other and shrugged deciding that the bed was big enough for the three of them. Steve was already on the far left side of the bed and Tony jumped into the middle, so Jude had the right side. He turned off the light and, trying to be conspicuous, snuggled closer to Tony.

A chuckle came from Tom's bed. "How do your wives fell about you and Robert sleeping together with a third man?"

Jude laughed. "Oh they know, right hon?"

In the darkness both Tony and Steve had their eyes wide open. "Um… right." Jude laughed again and they said goodnight. However Tony and Steve didn't sleep right away with the new sound information of Tony's actor being married. Steve seemed to be the angriest with it because this Jude guy was already flirting with Tony and now Tony and Jude had their spouses! He hated this other universe and just hoped that someone, even if it was Loki, could bring them back.


End file.
